It is not easy being green

Patrick J. Deneen director of the Tocqueville Forum of Georgetown University announced today its ground breaking new series of discussions scheduled for this spring. In an age extremely focused on color and what color means, there has been one wavelength of visible light that is continually left out of the spectrum, Green The forum is dedicated to the rationalistic and philosophical discussions of American democracy. The discussion is ground breaking because America is continually ignoring green. There is ongoing discussion about integration of black and white. It seems like every other week there is a documentary about blue man group on Bravo. Red even got a whole decade of discussion during the cold war. It is about time Green gets its time in the limelight. Professor Deneen feels, “There is nothing more essential to American democracy at this point in history than the ongoing ‘Green’ discussions. We plan to assemble some of the greatest green minds for a Forum of discussion and discovery” The distinguished speakers expected to participate include Kermit the frog who historically has been avant-garde in his approach to the green question through his musical endeavors. His most notable piece is “It’s not easy being green.” Out of respect for patron Kermit, the series of discussions has been named after his musical work of art. Other distinguished guests include the ‘Incredible’ Hulk, the Grinch, Jolly Green Giant, Ralph Nader, and the Green Lantern.
DPS officers have also beefed up the security in Gaston for some of the events especially in response to Mr. Hulks reputation for unexpected unruly behavior. The ‘Incredible’ Hulk is expected to give a riveting lecture on anger management in green society. However, this therapist asked that there be no question and answer session following the debate in that it might “upset” Mr. Hulk.
The local DC media has begun scrambling for coverage of the Jolly Green Giant debates. The Tocqueville Forum discussions are the anticipated setting of his first public narrative of his drawn out battle with marijuana. The Jolly Green Giant told reporters, “When botany is your life, you have an obsession and access to almost any plant imaginable. It is easy to get into plants that you later regret.” The Jolly Green giant actually got his “jolly” nickname from the fact that he was constantly taking hits and doing his advertising shoots live. The green giant had this to say in an inclusive pre-forum interview, “It isn’t something I am proud of, but at the same time I don’t regret it. That jolly green joint made me a star. But. sometimes I lie awake and wonder if the price I paid was too high… way too high…”

To follow suit in the theme of green overcoming adversity Mr. Grintch will discuss his 4 year incitement in Whoville. Mr. Grintch will also speak on his struggle to overcome theft, depression, chronic heart inflammation, and animal abuse. He plans to end the lecture by joining the Georgetown Chimes as a soloist in a one song conclusion concert. They will be performing an acapella version of Greenday’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
The Forum’s series of lectures is planned to kick off next Friday with a heated debate between Kermit the Frog and green party leader Ralph Nader. Mr. Nader taking the stance that it is easy being green while Kermit thinks it is not. Already crowds of green supporters have begun overrunning campus, including a large group of leprechauns who are currently camped out in the shoe section of the bookstore.
Although the announcement of the series has generally been met with high esteem, there was some dissension among certain school administrators stating that this forum was too color specific. However, after much debate at the highest administrative level President DeGioia gave Professor Deneen and the Forum the green light to continue preparations for the debate series.