Ice Ice Baby.
For those of you who don't know me well. Hi! I am surprised you even found your way to this site or cared enough to read even the very first sentence. Or maybe you will just skip to the end which I will make interesting so that you will read the rest of this. Ha Ha joke’s on you cheater! So, out my window today I glanced and like a sniper bullet through my cuticle I realized. Indeed it was snowing the world was covered in a layer of white frothy snow. (Yes! Frothy! Snow can be frothy, now shut up know it all.) Just the kind of scene that looking out upon the only desire one has is to snuggle up in a blanket and go back to sleep. So I did! I slept until 1:00 got up and trucked over to class leaving an ever thinning line of smoke from my mouth which floated up into the sky like a kite tied to my tongue. Well it would probably have to be a ghost kite tied on with ghost sting of course, which kind of makes it even cooler. I along with everyone else who was walking along those pedestrian highways was an inconsistent miniature moving smokestack. Later, I was sauntering down to south campus and there I notice this sculpture that is basically a hole made out of shinny marble. School legend and common rumor has it that when it is snowing deep in the cold of the winter it is near impossible to get back up once you get down in it. I decided to test this ancient superstition. Well, rumor DEFINATELY has it right this time. But I learned a lot from this small lapst in judgment. Like how to yell really loud for help and eventually how to straddle the stupid, red, pointy cylinder thing in there and claw my way out. (If I can find one I'll try to find a picture of this particular spot.) After that I proceeded on my journey, when I saw some sheet metal sculptures all shiny with snow. So of course I just had to lick one. Tasty but bad plan. Well, I noticed how stupid I was with my tongue stuck to this metal woman's face waiting for some passerby to stop laughing and actually help me. Oh by the way scolding hot coffee, that was a great choice. Thanks minimum wage janitor at a dead end job. If I wanted pain I would have yanked my tongue off myself. Or perhaps I could have executed my first pan to try to use my hot urine, if only I had the strength to climb after my escape out of the marble hole of doom. (By the way the statue Part is a complete lie but still I hope you found it to a an amusing hypothetical) However, by far the best part of walking in the snow is to, at random points suddenly kick up one foot in the air, flail your arms around, and yell a quick "WoOOAA!" Just to see how people react. 7.5 out of 9 times people just do the quick step out of your way. They don't even try to help you! The other 1.5 times they just do nothing! Heartless freaks, that all I say. Then I usually complain and say. "So you didn't even try to help me, some friend you are." In which the person walking next to me usually replies, "What?! I don't even know who the Heck you are?!!!" And that in conclusion that is the perfect way to take over the world.

7 Comments:
yeah, i didnt believe the whole toung thing. i just couldnt picture it. but i know what you're talking about with the huge bowl. i think i got stuck there once too. it gets so slippery. what you should have done is get you're tounge stuck to that or something.
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Collin, at 9:53 AM
What is a plumb bob?
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Max Castile, at 1:17 PM
what a waste of hypothetical coffee...and ow
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Anonymous, at 1:33 AM
haha, i could definitely have pictured mike locking lips with a metal statue... maybe next time
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Trevor, at 5:17 PM
We want more articles!!
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Anonymous, at 8:38 PM
hahaha wow that was very entertaining!!
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Anonymous, at 7:28 PM
although it may seem impossible for some, I was able to excape the hole of doom when it was icy, pretty sweet. Didn't you use the plumb bob as a slide also?
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Anonymous, at 2:56 PM
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