Small Glasses

If none of you reading this have ever been to the glorious and ever amazing St Thomas cafeteria, I deplore you to do so as soon as possible. It is an experience full of mystery and wonder. "Oh wow what food group does that fall into. What’s that? A rubber glove in my pizza? (pseudo-true story) I wonder how many ice-cream sandwiches I can fit in my pockets." However, there is one thing I suggest you bring, besides the $6.75 you will have to pay to eat all you can fit in you mouth, and that is a normal size glass. For some reason this fine university, which is producing many cost conscience business leaders, decided that the best way to supply drinks is through glass Dixie cups, or as I like to call, them midget glasses. Now I don't mean that these glasses are made of midgets or that they were made in some strange midget sweat shop. And if you think, "Posh! Midget sweatshops don't exist.” don’t. Just think of Santa’s workshop. All year around those "little people" (what midgets like to be called) make toys sweating in the hot polar air. But I'm not talking about that. And if your a midget and your reading this are "a little" (he he um...sorry bad pun) mad about my vertical slur about you I sincerely feel for your loss of good feeling and joy. Now the thing about quenching my thirst by these small glasses is this I have to fill about 1000 of them up to equal my 12 servings of normal fluids that I need to survive. You hear that university!! I'm having trouble surviving here!! Do you want us to get dehydrated?!! You’re causing a strangulation in drinking at this school. Well that’s my one beef with the cafeteria here. Otherwise, keep up the mediocrity.