What does this bean mean?

Today was a normal day. Well how normal is each day really? Not that normal, you have different thoughts conversations and you lose about 2 lbs of skin cells too, which in of itself is weird. I was at my job at the phone center, hitting up alumni for some cash, and I had a spark of hunger strike my pallet. So off I sauntered, lackadaisically looking for some kind of refreshment to extinguish my appetite. The watering hole for such fulfillment happens to be what we in the phone center call “The Candy Bowl.” It is an amazing black, hollowed-out, plastic sphere that contains various sugary goodies. It usually has your hodgepodge of strange favorites; the milky ways, the laughytaffy the snickers etc. However, there was something different this time. To the delight of my little eyes I spotted the glorious package of jelly-belly jellybeans. Jellybeans are the one candy that has not sold out. Jelly-beans still have amazing flavors after all these years of being in the candy world. When you bite into a jelly bean you know exactly what you are tasting. There is the popcorn flavor, root bear coffee, in addition to very strange flavors you can get too. Here is the difference. A strawberry jelly bean tastes like you are in a strawberry field, putting a freshly picked piece of fruit on your tongue. However, the strawberry flavors of other candies taste nothing like the actual fruit they are advertising. You have to ask yourself what this is supposed to be. Is it cherry, mango, blood of goose? I really have no clue except that it is red, which only leaves about a million other fruity options. Jelly-beans are the ultimate candy. It is like food of the future. “He do you want some steak. Oh that would be great. Give me that round brown bean looking thing. Hmm I’m stuffed lets go ride in spaceships and shoot stuff with lasers.” I know that they can make other candies taste real. We have one of the oldest candies of all time to show that to us. The other thing that is strange about jellybeans is that if you look on the package it says that Jelly-bellies are gourmet jellybeans. I feel like I need to be dressed up to eat them. It is as if they expect their product to be an entrée at fine dinning restaurants. If I was on the iron chef, that is what I would make to beat the opponent. “Oh no weird Chinese commentator lady, who knows nothing about food, it looks as if Ted has decided to make gourmet jellybeans as his final dish.” “Oh no other commentator guy, I don’t know how the iron chef is going to deal with this new culinary threat.” It just doe not make sense. You would think if they wanted to make this product seem fancy they would name their product something fancier. Instead the name alludes to an obese man’s abdomen. That is what I love to think about while I’m eating, jelly and bellies. Needless to say, the jellybean is a confusing product. I have even had flavors that taste like dirt and vomit. I was impressed it tasted just as revolting at the real thing. Whose job is it to make sure these flavors are accurate? Is there some guy who keeps eating these jellybeans then tastes some real dirt or real vomit and give suggestions to make it more realistic. “Yeah um I think the vomit jellybean needs to taste more like stomach acid.” Just some food for thought next time your having candy.