Relaxation

So if you haven't yet noticed, my last few post have pretty much blown. They just sucked but I will leave them up to remind all of you that I am indeed mortal. I am not a pure muse of inspiration 24-7. It seems as though in the recent weeks my mind has been like one of those old basket ball players who still thinks they can play with the hip young playa’s. But then, he gets out there on the court and he is all like” What? Basketball? Hey wait up youngins. I don't remember how many points a 3 is worth" Not that I am referring to anyone famous baller in particular or anything. Cough!
However, I have tonight stayed up until the wee hours of the night (Quick history: It is called the "wee hours of the night" because it is when wee children at this particular time at night tend to take a wee in their beds. Thus the phrase wee hours of the night, referring to children and pee together.)Anyways I was up late something I like very much to do. That's right people I burnt the midnight oil. ( which is another phrase that has completely no relevance to me what-so-ever. I mean I can't even have scented candles in my dorm. Come to think of it, why would I want them anyways? Well needless to say the only physical or metaphorical oil I will be burning will be the oil on the bottom of the popcorn pan. Oh crap!! No one makes popcorn that way anymore anyways. What is this the 1920's? Ok. Ok I got it! I can burn the midnight refined oil, which is gasoline in my car which I also don't drive right now. Hmmm. Obviously I have no adaptation for this midnight oil phrase into my daily life. So I will just say burning the 5 am light bulb filament.) So I was up burning the 5 am light bulb filament when, after strange untraceable paths of random association, I arrived like Alice in wonderland. Its true, I arrived at the source of my woes. And I said "Whoa That’s my Woe?" (yes yes its corny but I can do corny because well I know) There in the darkness of my dorm room he confronted me. The Very Source of MY bad Writing Woes. He was a huge monster with a smooth disposition and a voice that was dark like tainted glass. And when I asked "By what name do you call thee? He said thou can call me.........Relaxation!!!
Yes! I was just as surprised as you are right now. (well maybe not as surprised as you seeing that you would be surprised that I would be in fact talking to an idea) "Relaxation?" I said. "How could you be the source of my problems? I love you! Your my end goal in life! Well maybe one of them. I can usually never get enough of you. You rock!" But there he stood. I felt so betrayed!! "You see Mr...." the beast named Relaxation explained, "You are a being driven by conflict. You yearn to be in a state of discontent. That way you are striving to solve the great problem whatever it may be." Hmm... I thought to myself and wondered why this imaginary beast who had appeared late at night in a dorm room was also wearing an Iris flag and my Lugz. But I had seen much weirder things in my day so I dismissed it and listened to Relaxation tell me more about my predicament. "The problem, good sir, is that you had 6 weeks of free time on your hands. That is the same as half a summer! However, summer is packed with about a billion different things.(I was thinking yeah right! not a billion what an exaggerator) So you really don't see me, Relaxation, that much and I don't get sick of you and you don't get sick of me." Amazing this beast Relaxation is so very wise! What he was saying was the reason my life was so dull was because I was sleeping 14 hours a day and watching movies and looking at the computer for the rest of my waking 10 hours. Well long story short I listened to my now dear friend again Relaxation and I got busy. I did some push-ups in my room a few cartwheels in the lounge and rollerbladed down the hall at 3 in the morning. Then I proceeded to clean my room and do other odd jobs I had been putting off until 5:22am in the morning. Then I made a hugely unreasonable to do list for tomorrow. Wrote this blog and went to bed. Ahh its good to not relax!